PUT ME DOWN!!!
What’s your number...? The ‘Jel’s’ magic number is 4… Once they each have 4 drinks they have to have 25… What innocently starts out as a few civilised drinks with friends quickly turns into chugging red wine from a box, chain smoking and ridiculously slurred sentences…? Before I know it I'm being forced to play “air-keyboard” to Billy Joel and dance to one-hit wonders from the 80’s… But the fun doesn’t stop there… mornings equal ludicrously tight “cuddles” and the singing of songs that oh-so cleverly have key words replaced with my name… I squirm and try to get away, but resistance is futile... I just have to ride it out and wait for the click of the door to close…
EMBRACE YOUR CURVES
The "skinny vs curves" debate has been around for centuries… And I for one have struggled to find a balance… The weight creped on over the years and I was seemly oblivious to my ever expanding waistline… Houseguests affectionately grabbed me around the waist and giggles were heard while I ate… Then my family decided to take a stand and I noticed that my meal portions started to get smaller and smaller… What was going on? Had everyone noticed but me??? So the portions got smaller – but I didn’t… I spent months avoiding mirrors and fell into depression… My family noticed and decided that the curvy me was more fun! The portions are a little more generous these days and I’m back to loving life… Being curvy makes me who I am! So ladies shake what ya mamma gave you and wear it with pride!
FUNNY HAHA...
Who doesn’t love a cute comedian making fun of celebrities??? My nearest and dearest got up close and personal with Mr. McHale on his recent trip to Oz and said he was a delight! Not only that his sold out stand up show was 60 minutes of Asthma inducing hilarity!!!For those of you who are too poor for cable, you can watch The Soup on YouTube. Joel’s distaste for the characters on The Hills, Keeping Up With The Kardashians and Ryan Seacrest have me rolling around on the ground (alongside rope & thong) with laughter each week. This is my universal balance for watching entertainment television… Although some of it is forced upon me – I do enjoy the odd sugar coated 'reality' drama…and The Soup is like brushing your teeth after consuming too much TV-Sugar…
MUST SEE....
FOR DISCRIMINATORY REASONS I WASN'T ALLOWED IN THE CINEMA TO WATCH THIS - BUT I RECEIVED THE FOLLOWING REVIEW FROM 'BB'...
Samson & Delilah - It may not feature any chara
cters of the feline persuasion… but this movie is something really special… Not only does it give you a brutally confronting glimpse into a society that most Australians would like to pretend doesn’t exist… But this film is a true love story… one that is sure to crack the hardest cinema goers’ cynical veneer… Shot against the magnificent landscape of Australia’s Northern Territory, Samson & Delilah tells a story that needs to be experienced by all… Minimal dialogue gives viewers plenty of time to think about what’s happening and at times the silence is deafening… Watch then discuss over a bottle to of wine… Maybe leave the goon bag for another time…. This one will be remembered in my household for quite sometime….I'LL BE WATCHING THIS ONE ON DVD FOR SURE!!! SCREW YOU CINEMA NAZI'S!!
THE NEW REVOLUTION…
Viva-Chairman Meow! Chairman Meow is an exiled leader living under diplomatic immunity in the domicile of a rebel fighting of ‘the cause’. Assassination attempts and limited mobility have driven the Chairman underground – But legions of supporters are working hard to reinstate the Chairman and the fundamental beliefs vigorously adopted by his followers.CHAIRMAN MEOW PHIILOSPHY:
(1) We avoid conflict, and we don't want to fight. But if circumstances force us to fight, we fight to the finish.
(2)Non-felines are paper tigers. In appearance, some are terrifying; in reality they are not so powerful. From a long-term point of view, it is the ‘we’ who are really powerful.
(3)We stand for self-reliance. We hope for human aid but cannot be dependent on it; we depend on our own efforts, on the creative power of the feline army
TOE TO (CAMEL) TOE
Women of the world… I’m begging you – abide by the socially binding rules about wearing Lycra outside the gym… I am well aware of the workings of human anatomy – and don’t want to be reminded of this every time I see a woman walking down the street with a short t-shirt and leggings pulled up too high…Case in point – young Peaches Geldof decided to show the world exactly what she was ‘packing’ when she strutted her stuff in a metallic lycra body suite recently – to add insult to “camel toe” injury, she wore this little number on top of stockings, the neat little trim of her gusset and 90’s matt lipstick capping the whole outfit off… Please ladies – give modesty a chance… long T’s and skirts were invented for a very good reason.
If I could wear leggings/body suits without ridicule... I'd abide by the rules… But for now be thankful that I’m willing to tell the ‘people’ the truth…
HOW (NOT) TO BOW-OUT GRACEFULLY…
Speaking of wanna-be Messiah’s… Just because your name is Madonna and you’ve nabbed yourself a BF (young enough to be your son) named ‘Jesus’ doesn’t mean you should parade your naked ass all around town – I’m guessing much to the humiliation of her unibrowed daughter… When you period stops and the grey hairs out number the originals, it’s time you put it away and except a gracious defeat – I know this rant is nothing new – but maybe if we all keep saying it she will finally fade into a green puff of has-been stage smoke… We can only hope….
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